Secret Love
by PAPERKUT6
Summary: One night was all it took to turn their worlds upside down. He, however, didn't realise months later just how much his life would change because of that night. But truth be told, it wasn't just one night. Thinking back he realised that it was more than just one night. He fell in love with her, he was just too stubborn to admit it to himself, let alone her.
1. Chapter 1

**Part One - All Shook Up**

" _ **My heart beats, so it scares me to death. She touched my hand what a chill I got. Her lips are like a volcano that's hot...I'm all shook up.." ~ Avila**_

She knew better. Logic told her to turn around and let him go. Her body, however, betrayed her and she found herself following him. It all started a few days earlier. She caught him staring at her. At first she was worried. It concerned her, wondering if he had something sinister planned. It was no secret that he hated her, he called her a mudblood enough times. He, however, just spared her glances. Now she expected it, she waited for his eyes to find hers. It was thrilling. There was something in his eyes that delighted her, but also something dark, sad that was hidden. She couldn't explain the sudden pull towards him. She prided herself in her logical way of thinking, of being the rational one. There was nothing rational about the growing uneasiness of the idea that she might want him.

So, she found herself standing in an empty room with him. She was just heading back to the Gryffindor tower when she bumped into him. "Watch where you going, Granger," he spat glaring at her. She looked up into his gray eyes about to tell him to get lost, but stopped herself. She picked up her books without a word and left him standing in the corridor. But, she paused and looked over her shoulder. She saw him duck into an empty classroom. _Don't_ , she scolded herself. _Just walk away Hermione,_ she told herself. But something drew her to him. She shook her head and sighed. She turned around and made her way to the classroom he had stepped in.

He duck into the empty classroom, pushing up his sleeves, and exhaled noisily. He leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath. He was exhausted. He felt the world closing in around him. What was he doing? He had no right killing anyone, let alone one of the most powerful wizards of all time. Why did he think he ever could? His eye caught movement. She stood in the doorway looking at him. He was too tired to be furious with her. It wasn't worth it. She walked in and closed the door behind her. She placed her books on a table nearby and turned to face him. He just stared at her out of the corner of his eye. He didn't move. He couldn't. Her eyes were glued to him, and he felt this strange urge to tell her everything. She might have the answers he's seeking. But he knew he couldn't. She was Potter's best friend. She was bound to tell them everything. So he kept his mouth shut. He turned and faced her. "What do you want, Granger?" he snarled, crossing his arms. She took a deep breath. He was sure she felt uneasy. He could see her chest rise and fall rapidly.

"Can we pretend that just tonight we are not enemies," she began uncertainly, meeting his gray eyes. "I'm not interested in your deep dark secrets. Just tell me how I can help you?" She had no idea what she was doing. She sounded crazy. She should leave. She knew that no good would come from this. His eyes, however, had her rooted to the spot. There was so much pain behind them. "You can't help," he told her dropping his gaze. She, for the first time in six years, didn't see him as an ignorant ass, but as someone that had the weight of the world on his shoulders. She saw him as just another student at the school. She took a hesitant step toward him. She expected him to recoil from her. He didn't, he stood grounded. She did something impulsive. All hatred gone, all fear lost. She reached out and brushed her fingers across his face. Her heart skipped a beat when their skin touched, her fingers tingling. She met his eyes and knew he had felt it too.

He didn't realise that she had come so close until he felt her fingers brush the side of his cheek. He felt the shiver as her fingers touched his skin, and his heart started racing. What was happening? This was Hermione Granger. She was impure, she was one of his least favourite people at this school. She was here when no one else was. He looked up and for the first time he had this urge to kiss her. ' _What is wrong with you?'_ he reprimanded himself. This was not like him. "My father expects too much of me?" he confessed in a sudden burst of words. He surprised himself with the sudden declaration in front of her. She nodded not saying a word. He took it as a sign to continue. He didn't give her details. Just told her the stress he was under, and the mean man his father was. She didn't say anything. She just listened. He had never talked to anyone the way he was talking to her. He's never been this open. She didn't seem to want to use this against him. She just understood.

She had listened intently, each word he uttered got under her skin. She for the moment forgot that he made her life hell. Forgot that he was always so insufferable. In that moment he was nothing more than a guy needing to vent. He stopped talking and just stared at her. She knew better, knew that it was time to go. They were breaking too many rules being in the room. But she just wanted another few minutes with this Draco Malfoy. He leaned in and kissed her. She stepped back in surprise and found herself slap him before she could stop herself. If truth be told a part of her wanted him to kiss her. Isn't that why she had followed him in here? There have always been something about him that intrigued her. He watched her carefully. He didn't look angry. He looked as confused as she felt. She saw him pause and contemplate for a moment. She took a cautious step towards him, her heart racing. He reached out and cupped her face in his hands. She didn't pull away this time. She let him kiss her again. The kiss was guarded, both unsure of what they wanted. She decided that she wanted this. She wanted him kissing her. Why not? She was always the good girl. He offered her the opportunity to be anything but good.

He felt her lips relax, parting slightly. He took it as a sign that she was open for him to deepen the kiss. A part of him wanted to walk away and not think of what he was doing, but a bigger part of him wanted this. He always had to obey his father and their family traditions. What if he for just one night wanted to be anyone but Draco Malfoy, son of Lucius Malfoy. She offered him such a night. He let go of her face and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her against him. She snaked her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his, desire running through her veins. A yearning like he have never felt before threatened to drown him. He kissed her fervently, their tongues meeting in mutual desire. He felt her body shake under his grip, lust consuming her in the same way it did him. He lost himself in her, and she let herself give in to her yearning for him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two - Secret Love**

 _ **"**_ _ **We keep behind closed doors. Every time I see you, I die a little more. Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls. It'll never be enough..." ~ Little Mix**_

She woke up the morning after, her skin still tingling, her mind still racing. She barely slept, just replayed the moments over and over in her head. She'd never admit this to anyone, but it was the best night of her life. She never in her wildest dreams would have thought he could make her feel the way he did. It would be a night she'd always remember. She just had no idea, at that moment in time, that her world was about to be turned upside down. It wasn't long after she realised that her whole life was going to change. She knew what the changes in her body meant. She saw and felt it the weeks following, yet she still went to Madame Pomfrey to be sure. She knew she should tell him, but she couldn't. Not now. He wasn't ready.

She was barely ready to be a mother. She never thought she'd be a teen mum, but here she was at sixteen and about to become a mother. She kept it a secret from everyone, even her best friends Harry and Ron. The only ones that knew of the baby growing inside her was herself, Professor McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey. With the support of the two women she managed to keep the pregnancy concealed. She thought for the briefest of moments not to keep the baby, but immediately cursed herself for wanting to give away her unborn. She already loved it. The first day she felt the baby move, Draco was nearby. His laugh made her heart skip a beat, and the baby responded with a kick. She smiled and disappeared around the corner just as he caught her eye.

It was the first time in weeks she heard him laugh. She never thought she'd fall for Draco Malfoy. Did she love him? She didn't know. She just knew that he had gotten under her skin, and made her stomach flutter. She recalled the night they spent together. She had a part of him growing inside her. She wondered if he ever thought of that night, and wondered if she had the same effect on him that he had on her. But, still she didn't tell him. Not once, even when he asked her one day if she was fine. She had a bad bout of morning sickness. He had seen her dash for the bathroom and saw her emerge a few minutes later, looking rather pale. She told him she was fine. She said it was only a stomach bug.

He watched her walk around the castle her smile radiant, her skin glowing. He was happy that she was happy. Even if he wasn't the cause of it. For so long he hated her. She was everything his family despised. Yet she was there that night. She listened, she understood. She spoke to him the way no one else has ever spoken to him. That night she wasn't impure in his mind. She was a beautiful soul. Everyone always thought that he was cold, conceited, discourteous. Nobody really understood him. She did that night. He lost himself in her, and it was the best night of his life. He wouldn't tell anyone though. He wanted to protect the memory of their night together. She had always been smart, brave and strong. Everything he had ever wanted to be. That night she made him feel all of the above. That night he saw the purity that was her soul, and it brought him to tears.

He sought her out, no longer content in just watching her with others. He just wanted one more touch, one more moment with her. This was his opportunity. She was alone. He wondered how many times she's revisited that classroom. He did so often he had lost count. He pushed the door open and found her standing there in the middle of the room, her eyes closed, a smile on her lips. He stood there watching her, her beauty bright. He knew that they couldn't have those moments back, they were now a mere memory. She opened her eyes, her gaze lingering on him. He took a step closer, she didn't move. "Draco," she breathed when he touched her face. His name on her lips used to leave him with a foul taste in his mouth, now it was bittersweet. She closed her eyes, letting him cup her face with his cold hand. She leaned into his hand, covering it with her own. He brushed his lips ever so slightly against her forehead, the only touch he allowed himself. Before he lost himself again he left. Every fibre of his body wanted to be with her, but it would only end in disaster.

She's been to that space so many times, hoping to find him there. He never was, this time he found her. She let him touch her, only if it was for the last time. She knew it would never amount to anything. She knew what he was. She saw it that night. She saw the mark he's been branded with. She wanted to confess her indiscretions, tell them who he was. Yet, she never did. She kept it to herself. She had fallen in love with him she realised. That love kept her from telling anyone. That love is what kept her strong through the pregnancy. Maybe one day, one day they could be a family. It was a deluded dream she clung to. How could she know how cruel fate would be. She had no idea, that their most recent moment in the classroom would be their last. All was hell after they lost Dumbledore on that dreaded night.

Not too long after that night, she held their daughter, in awe at how much she looked just like her father. She had her mother's nose, that was clear. She even had three freckles neatly place on the bridge of her button nose. But she looked just like her father. She had the whitest of hair and the greyest of eyes. She had never loved anyone as much as she loved that baby girl. She wished she had him, or even her best friends to share this moment with. But it was better this way. If his family ever discovered this secret they would surely set out to destroy her and this beautiful baby she was holding. She knew what she had to do. She gave her parents the child, and took their memories. They believed that a friend had asked them to protect and watch over her. The only evidence of the child was a simple picture and a letter she left at Gringotts in Harry's vault. It was only to be given to him if she ever died before she could get Madelyn back after the war concluded.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part Three - Heaven**

 _ **"**_ _ **The truth runs wild, Like the rain to the sea. Trying to set straight the lines that I trace, To find some relief.  
This voice inside, Has been eating at me..." ~ Troye Savin ft. Betty Who**_

He often replayed those years at school. He wish he could've changed who he was. Wish that he had more time with her. She made him a better person, he can say that now that he is older. Her presence made him question his family's traditions, made him question his loyalties. He spent his days now recalling those brief moments they had, and the night they made love. That night would forever be the second best night of his life. It's been many years that he's had this ache inside him that he couldn't quite get rid of. The constant reminder of what he'd lost.

When she died he was sure he would too. He was sure that without her, there was no reason for him to exist. The images of war would forever be burned into his mind. He'd always recall the way his aunt tortured and then killed the woman he loved, he wanted to rescue her, he truly did. But, he was a coward. He'd have to live with that for the rest of his life. He could've saved her, he didn't. He watched her die at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange. Watched the light leave her eyes, saw the pain and sadness behind them. It wasn't till later that he understood the sadness. He discovered the secret she hid, and he understood why she had kept it from him. She was not only protecting their child, she was also protecting herself, and him. He knew that he would've been a coward and walked away. And if his father, or family ever found out they'd surely kill her and their child. She died before she could tell him, before she could hold their child again.

Since her death, he'd often find himself at her grave, just talking to her the way he did that night. He'd tell her about his days, tell her how much he missed her, and how much he wanted to have time with her. He also apologised for his mistakes, asking her for forgiveness. He knew that if she could talk to him, she'd tell him she's forgiven him. He just knew that it would be what she'd say. Her soul was beautiful after all. He also told her that she had blessed him with the best gift that life had to offer. He recalled the best moment of his life, and it was when he met Madelyn. The night Potter showed up with her in his arms, handing her to him with a letter, he felt pure sorrow and joy. It's been many years since that night Madelyn came into his life, and many years since her mother died.

He'd read her letter over and over, the words bringing him to his knees. Every day he missed her more than he thought he could. He never realised just how deeply they were connected. He was sure a part of him died that day with her. Some days he blamed himself. She was the price he had to pay for being who he was all those years ago. His days and nights were often haunted by his errors. Yet, Madelyn loved him unconditionally, and he loved her. Her love is what saved him. He had this feeling that the only reason Potter trusted him with Madelyn, was because Potter sensed that without purpose he would've lost his way. So, he made sure Madelyn knew exactly how much he loved her, and how much she meant to him.

Now, he only had to look at the one thing that made losing her bearable. Their daughter, Madelyn. She was the spitting image of him, but in so many ways she was just like her mother. Madelyn was insufferably smart and brave. She was loyal to a fault, and it worried him. But he knew that her mother would have been so proud of her. He watched Madelyn grow into the woman he knew her mother would've been at this age. He could never repay fate for giving him this precious gift. Yes he lost the woman he loved, but he was given a piece of her to hold on to for life. Madelyn often asked him to tell her stories of her mother. He told her all the reasons he fell in love with her. As she got older he told her of his flaws, and that her mother loved him regardless of the fact that he often made her life hell. He shared her letter with Madelyn on her sixteenth birthday. He and Madelyn cried for what they have lost, but were grateful for what they had.

Twenty years later, he understood the love he had for her. She came into his life at a time when he needed her the most. He wished it could've been different. He wished she was here with him and Madelyn, but she couldn't be. In her letter she declared her love for him, she apologised for not telling him about Madelyn. She told him that every time she felt Madelyn kick, it was because he was near her. She said that she understood that his family might never allow them to be a family. She just wanted him to love Madelyn the way she deserved to be loved. He often recalled her laugh, the moments they shared that night so many years ago. He recalled the way she made him feel, and the way she let him lose himself in her. She would forever be the one that he loved.


End file.
